One week down, one week to go until the PGS (pre-implantation genetic testing) results are supposed to come in. Years ago one of my younger cousins told her parents that "patience is not one of my virtues," and that phrase has been floating around in my mind frequently over the past week. There's absolutely nothing I can do to speed up the results, so I just have to pretend to be patient and wait for the call from my doctor.
In the meantime, I've had a lot of people ask me how I'm feeling now that I'm not on any weird medicine and I'm able to basically live my normal, everyday routines again. I generally go with "good," since I don't quite know how to answer that in the socially-acceptable way. I'm relieved that I can go back to a daily workout (although starting back up after a month of basically no exercise at all is brutal), and I love that I can once again drink peppermint tea before I go to bed. During the two-week injection period, I was expecting to be on a visibly emotional roller coaster, but, except for what my husband tactfully called "a slightly shorter temper than usual," I didn't really feel that way. I was exhausted and uncomfortable and had headaches ranging from I-can-ignore-it to why-can't-I-just-curl-up-in-a-silent-cold-dark-room, but I didn't feel the need to shout at everyone who ticked me off or cry when someone said something that could be construed as a critique.
Post-egg-retrieval, however, is a different story. The first few days were spent recovering from the procedure. I was told to take it easy, which wasn't hard since I was exhausted and sore. It felt like I had done a crazy intense ab workout several days in a row without stretching. I learned later than a heating pad would have been helpful in reducing the soreness. (Things to remember if I end up doing another round of IVF meds.) And I was so much more exhausted than I anticipated. I remember running a few errands about four days post-retrieval, and I had to take a nap when I got home because I was so tired. It was frustration -- my brain wanted to go back to a normal routine but my body did not agree.
[Warning to those who don't want to read any details about my period -- skip this paragraph.] Another fun part of the post-egg retrieval: a heaver-than-usual period. In all the research I did relating to IVF, this was not mentioned. Even so, for the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to getting my period because it meant my body had "reset" and I could go back to exercising once it ended. But sheesh ... those were some seriously uncomfortable days. It hadn't been that heavy since my first year of menstruating, and I did not miss those days. I was almost afraid to leave the house until it was over, it was so bad. The only silver lining was that heavier than usual did not also mean longer than usual.
The second week after the egg retrieval had me confused. I was thrilled to start working out again, but my emotions were totally out of sorts, and I was not expecting that. Things as banal as a MasterChef elimination made me tear up, and I couldn't bring myself to watch This Is Us until this past weekend. I switched between wanting to hang out with friends and hibernate, although hibernation won more than usual. I got incredibly irritated at the stupidest things, and with a few exceptions, was in bed by 8:00 (I usually wait until at least 9pm). This could all be due to stress -- I know from past experience that stress makes me exhausted and irritable. It could also be from a lack of good sleep -- ever since I learned that the embryos were sent out for testing, I've been having all sorts of anxiety-related dreams which do not make for a restful night. Or, it could simply be due to the fact that I still have another week of waiting to go, and it's making me a little crazy not knowing what happens next.
So, how am I doing? I can focus on work again (thank goodness), I can exercise, I can join my husband and puppy for walks around the neighborhood, and I can hang out with friends when I'm not hibernating, but I'm not sleeping well because of dreams about timing and stress and anxiety, I'm short-tempered, and I REALLY wish I knew how November will play out. That's how I'm doing right now.