I've learned that my body doesn't want to make babies naturally. Infertility is fairly common, but very few people talk openly about infertility. I am.  

The 18 week update

It’s been about 6 weeks since my last update, which is how long I’ve had to wait for another check-up at the OB’s office. In those six weeks, I’ve:

  • Continued to expand what I can eat, although apparently Gilgamesh still wants me to be a vegetarian

  • Continued to be occasionally simultaneously ravenous and nauseous (pregnancy is weird, y’all)

  • Managed to go 4.5 days without throwing up before that streak was broken (I’m working on a new streak)

  • Used pickles and ice cream (not together) to settle my stomach

  • Discovered that pregnancy can also apparently also make you super congested at night so you (I) wake up completely stuffed up

  • Learned that Tums are my new best friend, and have helped me keep dinner down more often than not in the past 2 weeks

  • Still been completely exhausted and have less stamina to do things

  • Possibly had a day or two of sciatic pain?

  • Learned that maternity jeans and shorts are stupid expensive, even from less expensive places like Old Navy

  • Taken to falling asleep at night while my husband reads The Hobbit to Gilgamesh (since he’s supposed to be able to hear now)

  • Almost fainted while home alone for reasons unknown

  • Had the anatomy scan

I’m not going to go into detail on all of those because (1) I don’t think it’d be interesting and (2) I just don’t have the energy.

I’ve had a few people (who I don’t see often) ask me if I have a baby bump yet. Although there’s a tiny bump that feels different to me, and my husband says it looks different, it’s not really noticeable unless I do the pregnancy pose and hold one arm above and one arm below the bump. However, my pants (elastic and non-elastic) are a bit more snug, and it’s definitely not because I’m gaining weight from all the food I can’t eat, so I guess there’s a bump? I did try out a pair of maternity jeans the other day and they were SUPER comfortable, much more so than my elastic pants, so I guess that means there must be a bump?

Going back to my constant whining about Gilgamesh not allowing me to eat (or keep down) enough food, there are some funny (bordering on gross) stories about that. For instance, our toilet clogged enough to require a plumber a week or so ago for the first time since it was installed 3 years ago, and I’m convinced that happened because my Exorcist reenactment the evening before was more than it could handle. Apparently Gilgamesh decided he didn’t like the leftovers I ate for dinner, despite being perfectly fine with the same meal one night earlier.

Then there’s the exhaustion. I’ve heard a lot about the 2nd trimester boost, but from my perspective, that’s a load of bull. I’m still exhausted (three intense days at work led to two days of me in bed sleeping it off), more things hurt, I wake up more often because I’m uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable sitting to work and I get tired standing for work, and I still never know whether Gilgamesh will allow me to keep down what I eat (he’s getting better at it, but it’s still a crap shoot many days). The days I can’t sneak away for a 10 minute nap are rough.

Two days ago, I almost fainted while sitting down. I started to get super hot and shaky, started to only be able to take shallow breaths, I heard a ringing in my ears and roaring in my head, and my vision started to dim. Since this has happened to me once before after I donated blood, I knew what was coming. I somehow managed to get to my bedroom, despite limbs that didn’t really want to listen, where I just managed to turn up our ceiling fan and then tried to control my breathing so I wouldn’t pass out. Thankfully, after a few minutes of that the ringing and roaring stopped.

Our very empathetic doggo gathered that I wasn’t doing great and lay her head and front paws across my legs at first to weigh me down, which was helpful. Then she allowed me to put a pillow on her back and get my feet raised on top of her while I worked to get my breathing back under control. She’s not usually a fan of that, but she just stayed there until I shifted positions, and then she made sure she was still as close to me as possible without crowding me. What a good doggo. Since I was still feeling lightheaded when I finally had enough strength to sit up, I (obviously) let my office know I’d be out sick and just lay back to try and rest.

I did call my OB’s office and left a message with the receptionist. By the time a nurse called me back about 5 hours later, I was feeling much better. I’d eaten lunch and gone back to work (I work from home). None of the usual culprits could be identified as the reason for me almost passing out on the floor — I’d eaten breakfast so it couldn’t have been low blood sugar, and I didn’t stand up suddenly (I was already sitting at the time). She said as long as I didn't feel dizzy or lightheaded again prior to my appointment, they’d wait until then to run some tests.

That appointment was this morning, and they check my blood sugar (completely normal) and my hemoglobin (low, but not terribly low and it always runs low for me anyway). My blood pressure was also good, so they gave me an order to get an EKG as a preventive measure. They didn’t seem very worried about it because they told me to go when I have a chance, but since I did almost faint and I mentioned that I’ve been having heart palpitations and some shortness of breath, they want that checked to rule out anything else. And yes, Mom, I’ll be going within the next few days — I’m not going to wait a long time.

Also at this morning’s 18 week appointment, we had our anatomy scan! This is the ultrasound where they look at all the different parts of the fetus to make sure all organs and bones are where they should be. Gilgamesh did NOT want to stay still for the ultrasound tech. He really gave her a run for her money. He kept bouncing about, moving whatever he could move. It was quite entertaining to watch, minus the pressure on my uterus the technician needed to exert to get the views needed since he wouldn’t stay still at all. In fact, it took her a bit to get the view of the umbilical cord that’s needed to confirm all is good because Gilgamesh kept moving his hands toward his genitals and blocking the view of the umbilical cord. I guess guys start really young with that? Turns out he’s sitting cross-legged directly on my cervix, and bouncing around in that position (that explains a lot of the various stabby/achy pains I’ve had lately). Since it’s still early and since I’ll be a c-section they’re not worried that he’s breach right now. Thankfully, everything looked and measured as it’s supposed to, which was a HUGE relief.

My next appointment is in three weeks, and that will be my first appointment with the OB instead of a midwife. In the meantime, Gilgamesh is going to experience his first flight when I fly home for Passover next weekend.

A Detour to the ER

Nearing the End of the First Trimester